I had everything: money, security, family, a beautiful 10-acre property on the Caledon Mountain in Ontario, in a custom-built home.
Even though I had everything, a deep loneliness filled my soul. Nothing seemed real. I had to know that God was real. My sister had recently said to me, "I know where I'm going, where are you going?" (after death), and this started a deep search in me for God. I believe it was initiated by the Holy Spirit.
One night, our Cocker Spaniel dog woke me up at 3 o'clock in the morning to relieve herself (which she never did before did before or after). I let her out the door and I began to look at the stars, which seemed so close because of the high altitude we were on the mountain...it seemed that I could almost touch the stars. I was marveling how beautiful it was, when I heard the sound of thunder. I knew, I just knew it was the Lord. How did I know, I couldn't say....I just knew it was God. God made His presence real to me that night through the sound of thunder.
I didn't do anything to change my life in the next two years, but I knew God was real- there was something more out there. I had peace.
Later on in my life, God brought special priests and a very holy spiritual director into my life to teach and train and disciple me. In my walk, I learned the importance of the Holy Spirit and the Bible. When I was 12 years old, I had felt the Holy Spirit tell me to sit down and write down my testimony. I started writing it, but I began to think, "who would be interested in my life?" I crumpled it up in a ball and threw it in the garbage!
Years later, when I was confirmed by Bishop Lacey, I felt a deep peace usher in my soul. I knew something happened. But, it wasn't ignited until I met a certain Redemptorist priest. I received the baptism of the Holy Spirit when he prayed over me three years later. I was taught to "come under anointing" every day by spending at least 20 minutes praising the Lord and to spend 20 minutes a day meditating on the Gospels. After I was baptized in the Spirit, I stayed in the Gospels for ten years! This transformed my life: I believe Matthew, Mark, Luke and John are all healing Gospels, and a chapter a day keeps the devil away. Now, I was learning how to protect myself. I had the ammunition. These two things protected me. As I prayed for the anointing and read Scripture, fear, which had filled me, left me. As I was faithful to these practices, God's miracles increased in my life.
I had read Scripture when I started my search for God, but nothing made sense to me. I didn't know where to start: I just started reading it, kneeling at my bedside. But, when I was filled by the Holy Spirit I was able to hear and understand what God was saying- to me, personally. I was taught to use the daily readings provided by the Church, and to really meditate on the Word. How we do Bible study at the Father's House is we say the Prayer to Take Authority and always invite the Holy Spirit to speak to us through His Word. He always does.
When my marriage ended, I had applied for an annulment. When the annulment came through, a year later, a parish priest asked me what I did within the past three years that I had never done before, since the marriage tribunal was wondering. They all agreed (doctors, psychologists, lawyers and priests) that when I was married at the age of 19, I was only 9 years old emotionally (in relationships). When they asked me what I had done to mature in so quick a time, I told them that I read the Bible every day. They told me that I had matured completely within those three years. THIS IS WHY I TELL EVERYONE THAT THE HOLY SPIRIT HEALED ME THROUGH SCRIPTURE. There is healing in Scripture!
Love you lots,
Heart Two Heart Ministries